EXTREME BLACK BUTLER PARODY!
by BloodlessAncestral
Summary: This is a bunch of halarious short stories smooshed together to create a montoge of candystealing,gay baby making,trancy or transexual? I always get those two confused. WHAT? your saying its trancy? Sorry can't hear you over his booty shorts. Yeah I went there CLAUDE! Parody! I hope you like it. :
1. Chapter 1

**rHey! Its Deadly Beloved! Soo, I decided to make this fanfiction of Oneshots! ONe shot spoofs and turn it into a giant, Kuroshitsuji (aka Black Butler) Parody! Along with the help of Chris (Fallon4Life) and my girlfriend Katie (TeenageMutantNinjaSquirtles) So this is a thank you in advance! ENJOY**

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ONCE UPON A TIME.. Wait.. How should I start this? *Looks over at Chris* OH! Yeah nevermind.. *Rubs hands together*

Once upon a time there was this emo, moody preteen (Ceil) who like.. Was moody. And like.. He had an eyepatch. Not because he was a pirate.. But because his really sexy butler had a tattoo on his hand and junk? Yah. Totally. And like.. Theres these other people that work for emo moody preteen and there all like, "BAD" or whatever at there jobs. And like Smexy Butler (Sebastian) yells at them.. Yeah.. He's hardcore like that.

And theres this _OTHER _moody preteen and he's like.. gay or something. I think his name is Alois Transexual. *Chris whispers in ear* Oh I mean Trancy. I couldn't tell over his booty shorts and whore socks. So anyway his butler.. Looks like if Sebastian and William had super-hot-in-every-room-sex.. He would be the result of it. Like. Seriously dude. He's like there gay baby. Anyways Gay Baby is actually a spider named Claude. xD Omg what if he was spider man? I should so use that in a spoof, "MY SPIDER SENSES ARE TINGLINNG." "Your probably just horny."

And theres like.. this other chick thats blonde and like.. is preventing any yaoi from the story. yeah SHE'S the reason there's no SEBBYXCEIL. Although Grell might like her for that... Anyways now that your familar with Black Butler.. I hope you like the upcoming parody's I shall be posting. :D And if you still don't understand Black Butler idk, wiki that shit. WI-KI-PE-DIA IT UP BITCH!

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**Me: Sorry it was short, It's a school night I had to wrap it up but please R&R! Chris: Heh, I now see Black Butler through your eyes.**

**Me: HUh? No dude Its just a parody. I worship this show.**

**Katie: heehehehehe, Im gonna help you on the next chapter, even though I never said I would and Im readding this fictional script right now and thinking to myself "Really Darian? REALLY?"**

**Me: OHH yes Katie. You are helping me with the next chapter. I need ur brain.. Not like in a zombie way. **

**Katie: O.O What does human brain.. taste like?**

***All three of us exchange glances***


	2. Sebbysexual xD

**Hey! IM back! With another spoof. Please PLEASE review! Itt helps me, so ****_so_**** much to have support. Anyways, I hope you like this !**

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Ceil: Grell? Why do you always hit on my butler?

Sebastian: Yeah whats up wiith that? I mean I know Im smart,and sexy, and attractive, and hot, and muscley... But that is no reason to hit on me.

Grell: *Giggles* Well, we _all _are a little Sebbysexual, in one way or another.

Ceil: That's true. Very... VERY true. *He slumps on his desk and stares off dreamily*

Sebastian: Wait what?

Me: *Cuts in* Sebbysexual means; No matter if your a girl or a boy, or if your gay or straight.. You find Sebastian Michealis attractive.

Chris: *Shruggs* It's undeniable.

Sebastian: WHO COMES _UP_ WITH THESE THINGS?!

Me: *Raises hand* That would be ME the brunette chick in the batman shirt!

Katie: Im an open sebbysexual, although for the first year I was closeted.

Me: *Face palm* Of course you are baby.. *Pats her head*

Sebastian: *Clears throat*

Grell: Well since that awnsers your question... LETS ALL GANG RAPE SEBASTIAN!

Me: *Spits out coffee* What?! DUDE NO!

Sebastian: Yeah! NO!

Grell:... *Shruggs* Suit your self! *Glomps Sebastian and quickly unzipps his-*

**Due to the fact I do not write Lemons and I don't want that little T on the rated sighn be a lie.. I shall not contenue this little scenario.**

Chris: Damn.. *Watchhes with wide eyes*

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**Chris: Hah, I did fancy this chapter! And I wish you would show how much you fancied it.. and reviewwwww *Wiggles eyebrow* **


	3. Tea party

**OMG YOU GUYYSS! I GOT 111 Reviews! :D I know that may not seem like a lot to you, but it is to me- *Shakes Katie* Elleven reviews dude! Anyways I hope you enjoy this next spooffy :)**

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Claude: *Bows* Ceil Phantomhive agreed on your invintation to your stuffed animal Tea Party.

Alois: YAAAYYY! *Falls out of chair and climbs over to desk* Wait you didn't tell him it was an animal tea party did you?

Claude: No.

Alois: IMA GO TELL SUNSHINE BEAR! *Runs off*

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**~Meanwhile At The Phantomhive Manor~**

Ceil: Dammit Sebastian can't you go any faster?!

Sebastian: Yes, but I don't want to hurt you.

Ceil: To hell with that! Thats an _order!_

*Sebastian zipps and buttons Ceil's pants fastly*

Ceil: OW FUCK OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Sebastian: Thats not the words of a gentleman.

Ceil: I DONT GIVE A FLYING COCK FUCK! MY FUCKING.. *Doubles over*... Its caught..

Sebastian: Yeah, i'll leave you to deal with THAT... *Walks out of room*

**~Back at the transexual manor~**

Alois: YAYYYAYAAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYA-

Claude: Please stop.

AaAlois:...*Whispers* ayaayyaayyaayayayayaaayya-

Sebastian: Ding Dong~...

Alois: SOMEONE IS MIMICING OUR DOOR BELL! *Hides under table* TERRORISTS!

Claude:... *Opens door*

Ceil: *Sees the stuffed animals* Uhm, well this has been a lovely tea party but I musnt stay long, I have to go.. fuck my fiance. *Tries to leave but Sebastian stops him*

Sebastian: No you don't, you need to stay here and spend some time with a transexual... *Leans closer to him* Being gay is okay.

Alois: WHY DOESNT MY BUTLER LOVE ME?! *Everyone slowly turns to him*

Alois:... *Gives Ceil a cup of tea* It's jade.

Ceil: *Glares over at Sebastian but sits down anyways* Um.. You didn't poison this did you?

Alois: WHAT NO YES NO I DUNNO _MAYBE!_ _** *Shoves Tea down Ceil's throat***_

Sebastian: Hey What the fu- *Claude pressure points his neck and he passes out*

Ceil: Daa fuuuuuuuuuu... *Falls over*

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Ceil:*Wakes up* Where am I?

Alois: TRANCY WORLD~!

Ceil: Looks like a basment.

Sebastian: IM AWAKE! *Jumps up*

Ceil: Calm down you incompetent-

Alois: WHO WANTS TO PLAY DRESS UP?!

Ceil: OH dear god no.

Alois: Thats okay, I dressed you already.

Sebastian: Awww Lady Phantomhive is back yo!

Ceil: Ehh!? *Tries to get dress off when Claude turns on the basement lights*

Sebastian: OH thank god, I thought this was gonna end like that fanfiction cupcake..(My little pony fic, where pinkie pie lured rainbow dash to her house and drugs then brutally tortures and kills her)

Alois: What? NO! I just wanted to molest unconsious Ceil.

Ceil: WHATTTTTTT?

Alois: MUAHAHAHAHA!

Claude: Its fine, Ceil will be fine, Alois just wanted to meet Lady P.

Ciel: IM NOT A LADY!

Sebastian: Coudda fooled me.

Alois: Does that make Elizabeth a lesbian?

Ceil: ELIZABETH IS NOT A LES!

*Claude lets them leav out door*

Ceil: Sebastian? *Growls and yanks on dress*

Sebastian: What.

Ceil: NEVER FUCKING AGREE TO ALOIS'S TEA PARTYS EVER!

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**Me: *Yawns* Sorry I didn't know how to end it, its 6 in the morning but IM okay.. anyways Im drivin to school.. So im goin to school now. I'll try to updaate tomarrow or tonight, also if you have any parody ideas, I would appriciate it, just PM me and I'll give u a shoutout~ THanks ! -DeadlyBeloved.**


	4. Demon Parts

**Hey guys, Im so sorry it took so long to update... :/ I've been busy with school && Ive been going through some drama with tthe GF. :( Anyways I hope you enjoy3**

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Ceil:... *Thunder shakes room and tea cups spills all over Ceil's papers*... SEEBBAASSTTIIAANN!

Sebastian: What is it young master?

Ceil: THERES FUCKING TEA.. *Gestures* ALL OVER MAH PARROT!

Sebastian:.. Your.. Parrot?

Ceil: YES! I was drawing a PARROT and now Im gonna have to restart because PARROTS DONT LIKE TEA!

Sebastian:.. Look I can get you another peice of paper-...

Ceil: IM A VEGITARIAN! *Throws a red crayon at Sebastians face*

Sebastian:... That was.. Just all kinds of pathetic. *Lights go out and Mayrin barges in*

Mayrin: THE LIGHTS WENT AWFF!

Ceil: Yes _thank you _Mayrin.. *Rubs temples*

Finnian: Me and Bard were making out and we herd the commotion..

Bard: This is true.

Grell: Im a girl!

Ceil: Why.. Is.. HE HERE?

Grell: **_SHE..._**

Sebastian: Dunno, guess he crawled through the window.

Grell:_SHE!_

Mayrin: Has anyone seen Tanaka?

Finnian: He's downstairs why?

Mayrin: I'd rather be down there with him than a bunch of idiot boys.. *Walks out*

Grell: AND ME! A FEMALE!

Sebastian:*Shakes head in dissaprovel*

Finnian: She has issues.

Ceil: Im not an idiot. Im moody.. Like him.. *Points at Grell*

Grell: I HAVE A VAGINA!

Finnian: So is Alois.. he poked my tummy really hard.. it hurt.. a Lot.

Sebastian: HOw much?

Finnian: I dunno how to explain it, so I'll demonstrate.. *Kicks Sebastian in crotch*

Sebastian: Fuuuuuu... My demon parts..! *Doubles over*

Ceil: HEY I NEED THOSE!

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**Sorry it was short, i'll update tommarow I promise love yall thanks for the reviews it helps to have support!**


	5. Pluto's day

**Hey guys Im back yo! And with a spoof (Defnantly better than the last) and you know? Im just going to stop planning my updates because Everytime I do, it ends up in a failure. Like I end up dissapointing my Chris. So Im updating just for you...! Even though you probably are at school like I SHOULD be... Im just sick with the stomach virus. OH my KIRA i'd rather be at school, Its so boring. My only companion is you ... *Changes channel* AAAAAAANYWAAYS please Review! And if I keep getting negative reviews from that guest user I will disable guest reviews completely.. Let me make this clear.. ME NO GRELL BASHER...! REVIEW.**

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(I dont know if Pluto can communicate with Sebastian or not but Im allowing it.. Hell its a fanfiction why not?)

-THE WORLD THROUGH PLUTOS EYES DAY & NIGHT-

ZZZZZZZZzzZZZZZZZZZzz... mm.. Eh... Bleh.. Meh bloody ear itches... -Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats better...

OH YAY MORNING BOY DO I LOVE MORNINGS ISNT IT A GREAT DAY TO BE A DEMON DOG!

THE SKY IS SO SHINY-OH LOOK THERES MASTER! HAI MASTER HAI MASTER HAI HAI -

"Goodmorning Pluto."

HAI MASTER.

Sebastian walked over to me and unlocked my chained leash- YAAY IM FREE!

"Sit."

_SO CLOSE..._

ARE WE TRANING TODAY? :D

"No, today we are visiting The Undertaker."

OH YAAAAAAYYYY THE GUY WITYH THE LONG FINGER NAILS HE CAN SCRATCH MAHH TUMMY!

He grabbed my fur and jumped atop of me and I ran out of the yard I LOVE RUNNING! The town was pretty busy and everyone seemed pretty friendly what with all the staring.

HAI LADY!

HAI GARDENER!

HAI BLEEDING FAN GIRL!

HAI CAT!...CAT?

I haulted freezing still, causing Sebastian to nearly fly off of me. I stared at the black cat, his tail swishing teasingly.

YOU PUSSY YOU KITTY YOU...PUSSSY KITTY.

"Pluto... HEEL."

I have PAWS damn YOU!

"PLUTO HEEL!"

MASTER LIKES KITTY! MASTER LIKE KITTY MORE THAN PLUTO! MASTER NO LIKE PLUTO ANYMORE... PLUTO LOVE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTER!

I chased the cat through the town knocking over things and people barking like crazy. *STOMP* MROWW! Haha! I got you know kitteh! I had his tail lightly pinned to the ground with my ginormous paw.

"PLUTO HEEL!"

I reluctantly let the cat go and it hissed and ran behind the mansion.. Mansion.. Wait.. OH LOOK WE MADE IT TO UNDERTAKERS! :D

HAI FINGER NAIL GUY!

I layed on my back tongue sticking out happily. He looked down at me, a smile twisting accross his face.

"Ello' Pluto."

SCRATCHH MAH BELLLYYYYY.

They went inside..

OH NO IS HE EVER GOING TO COME BACK?

SEBASTIAN! IM SORRY I WONT CHASE CATS I LOVE YOUU! IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM IM SORRY IM SORRY-

-14 MINUTES LATER-

IM SOORY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEASE DONT ABANDOND ME IM A GOOD DOG LOOK IM HEELING!

SEE IF YOU WERE LOOKING YOUD SEE THAT IM HEELING.

He came back out and I licked his face. "Good boy." He gave me a treat.

CRUNCHY AND DELICOUS!

I we went back to the house and Sebastian grabbed a hose... omg its...

"Bath time pluto."

BUT I DONT - IM GETTING WET.

"See isn't so bad is it Pluto?"

I HATE YOUUU!

SHAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEEEEEE!

Much better... *Looks over at Sebastian who is now soaked*

"I guess your clean.."

BYE MASTER!

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**And that was a little insight of Pluto's POV. I have two dogs.. And the littler one steals the other ones bones and eats it infront of him. He just makes a sad panda face. Lol I love dogs. So that was a tribute to my dog Jackson (Based off his personality) PLease review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Im sorry for the wait. I was writing my Loveless fic, its getting some attention so woot! nyways I hope you enjoy.. **

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Alois' Diary page 38765345295476281

Okay so you know about Claude, well yesterday he wasn't here I was so angry I stapped hannah in the eye agian.. But its out of love... Its all out of love...

Anyways I was sitting at my desk being absolutely adorable when spiderman came through my window.. FUCKING SPIDER MAN!

"Uhm.. Hello." I said cocking my eyebrow.

He nodded his head towards me and the triplets flew through the door.

"Are you alright young master?"

"Yes but do you SEE the spiderman?"

"Oh silly thats not spiderman, that's Claude!" Thomas said smiling.

"IM not Claude, Im peter parker." He said, removing his mask, Claude of course was under the mask.

I raised my hand, "I CALL BEING MARY JANE!"

"Sorry, Grell is already my Mary Jane, what with the red hair."

"Claude and Grell? Thats an odd pairing.. I thought William and Grell were togeth-"

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY TRANSEXUAL!"William said leaping out of nowhere.

"I KNEW MY SPIDER SENSES WERE TINGLING!"

"Your probably just horny." Timber suggested.

"I DONT CARE IF UR MY SON I THOUGHT ME AND SEBASTIAN RAISED YOU BETTER!"

"OH my god-SEBASTIANS gay?!"

"Catnip Tequila strikes agian.." Shakes head.

"Willam, What are you saying William?" Claude asked throwing William off of him.

"William... I am your father.."

"THATS... IMPOSSIBLE..."He pulled out a light saber.

"Actually its quite likely." Hannah quipped.

William laughed evily. "YOU CANT DEFEAT ME!"

"OH yeah? YOU AND WHAT LIGHTENING HANDS?!"

*ZAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

Wait... NOw he's Galen?

"Can I still be Mary Jane?""

"CLAUDE NO LIKE... GALEN VADAR!" He turned into a giant hulk guy ripping out of his spidermaan outfit.

"CLAUDE SMASH!" He threw thomas agianst the wall and grabbed Timber.

Thomas got up, seeing his brother in distress and bit Claudes leg. HARD.

"OW."

"I BOT YOU NOW YOUR A VAMPIRE!.. Hulk.. Luke..Spiderman.. Vampire...Hmm."

"IT GIVES ME POWER!"

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**AAAAAAAAND so thats it.:) Im wierd and idk what was on my mind.. Anyways review and Obviously im running out of ideas and might be ending the parody short unless yall PM. I will use u in my parody's if you give me an idea. :) **


	7. CONTEST

**Hey guys! OKay so I know your probably expecting a Parody, but this is very important**

**Im running out of Parody idea's and I need you guys's help, unless you want me to end the parody short.. and this Parody has over ONE THOUSAND veiws.**

**So if you would kindly PM me some ideas... That would mean the world to me.**

**No matter how stupid, wierd, retarded or random it is. Send it to me... Beccause incase you haven't noticed IM ALL ABOUT STUPID!**

**Oh and of course.. If your idea is really great- I will include you in the Parody.**

**So if you want to be in my Parody... PM me with this information.**

**Your Parody Idea/Plot.**

**Your name (Or what you wish to be called in the Parody)**

**Your gender (So I don't call you a girl and you turn out to be a very offended boy.)**

**Your favourite character of Black BUtler (Kuroshitsuji)**

**Your personality! Who you are, do you talk in third person? Do you have a tree fetish- I KNOW I DO! (I dont, trees are all... icky aaaha...)**

**and if you would like to be related to a character or in a relationship with one, or is a new maid/butler for Ciel or Alois ect. **

**So please- PM me! Don't be shy I don't bite (Occasionally) thank you!- Darian.**


	8. Chapter 7

Hey guyyz I changed my Pen name to well.. xxGothicKittenxx cos the last one was sort of meh, depressing? It had a little inside thing to it. Anyways This is my best parody yet, a shout out to Reavers Killer for the amazing idea :) Enjoy and Review

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Ceil: Sebastian, get me another canoLIE!

Sebastian: But you've already had six-

Ceil: God dammit I want a **ing canolie!

*Sebastian sighs* Yes, My lord.. -20 MINUTES LATER-

Ceil: HEY GUYS LOOK I'M ALOIS! *He takes off his shirt and Mayrin falls over*

Sebastian: I tapped that.

Bard: WOO GOO CEIL!

Ceil: *Takes off pants* SOY UN HOMOSEXUAL!

Sebastian:...

Mayrin: Oh my god, BOXERS.

*Ceil runs around the mansion screaming SOY UN HOMOSEXUAL*

Bard: What is he on and where can I get some?

Sebastian: I fed him to much sugar.

Bard: Did he sniff it from a straw holy ** you think a kid would'nt be so sensative to that **.ANYWAYS I'M JOINING THE PARTY. *Bard takes off his shirt and Finnian falls over*

Bard: LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

Sebsatian: OH lord..

Bard: WE DANCED ON TABLE TOPS !

*Ceil stops his running and looks at bard*

Bard: THINK WE KISSED BUT I FORGOT- FIRE! *Pullls out a flame thrower and runs out of mansion*

Ceil: OH **.

Finnian:UGH! HE LEFT ME! THAT **. *Throws a lamp at Meyrin*

Ceil:... My lamp.

Finnian: hah hahaahaha... Lamp. *Cracks up*

Ceil: Has anyone seen my pants? Oh wait... There they are.

Finnian: UH UM UH I WUDNT TOUCH THEM THERE TROUSERS.

Ceil: Why?

Finnian: Cuz them's infected

Ceil: I think I'll take my chances.

Finnnian: EVERYONE HATES ME BECAUSE I'M THE MINOR CHARACTER THAT WEARS RED BARRETS IN MY HAIR EVEN THOUGH I'M A MALE..

Sebastian: Oh.. Uhm Finnian can you shut up-

Finnian: RED BARETTS!

Sebastian: Finnian shut up-

Finnian: MINOR CHARACTER!

Sebastian: Finnian shut the ** up-

Finnian: Male!

Sebastian: FINNIAN LIKE SHUT THE ** UP- DAMMIT! *Runs away*

Finnian: ..?

Revears Killer: Oh, you don't want to know...

Grell: Hai everybody...

Revears Killer: WTF where did you even-

Grell: I HAS A BOYFRIEEENN..

*Sebastian returns, appearing normal*

William: I did not agree on that label. Thus it is not offical.

Grell: *CoughTHATSNOTWHATYOUSAIDLAST NIGHTcough*

Sebastian: Ooooh, looks like Will got himself a lil girlular friend.

William: I will cut you.

Sebastian: FINNAIN IF YOU TWEET THAT I WILL STAB YOU..!

Finnian:*Drops phone*

Ceil: CAN YOU GUYS BE HIGH SOMEHWERE ELSE? SEBASTIAN I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

Sebastian: Finally.. *Starts to unbutton pants and Ceil blushes and stops him*

Ceil: I-I need you to take me to the undertakers- JESUS..

Sebastian: Oh, would you like to take the giant magic dog named after a fat planet?

Ceil: Yes I would.

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Sebastian: HEY SEXAY I KNOW UR IN THERE.

The Undertaker: HEY HEY HEY.

Ceil: Oh my **ing.. god.. *looks away embaressed*

The Undertaker: WHATCHYALL NEED?

Ceil: I need you to do a reading so I know what me and Elizabeth's future is like, if her boobs go down I'm marrying Sebastian

*Sebastian smirks as he created a plan to make a boob stretcher*

The Undertaker: KK..

*INSIDE*

undertaker: Oh.. Gawd..Laughs uncontrolably*

Ceil: Are they that bad?

The undertaker: No- Just you give her very unsatisfying sex, its halarious!

Ceil: SHUT THE HELL UP.. *Blushes and folds arms*

Undertaker: Okay, uhm.. So after the pity secks..

Ceil: RRRR...

Undertaker: She breaks up with you, and Alois and Sebastian ask you out AWW SNAP.

Ceil: What?! Uh..

Undertaker: And your gonna has boy drammmaaa~!

*Kicks them out*

Sebastian:*Glared down at him* I'd have a bigger-

Ceil: LALALLALALLALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU~!

Sebastian: Just sayin..

*BARD RUNS BY SCREAMING TGIF MUTHA **AS KILLING PPLZ*

ceil: Remind me to fire him.

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- Well that's it for now, don't worry Reavers killer, I'm using the rest of the idea in another parody thanks hun.

REVIEW PPLL

thanks. :3


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys I'm sorry I haven't updated in a month, I'm using my schools computer xP anyways I will give you three new Parody's in this week so I hope you like the very first one!**

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Ceil: Sebastian... What is this?

Sebastian: That would be an invitation to Alois's slumber party.

Ceil: I'm not going.

Me: *cuts in* Ceil, that wasn't your line!

Ceil: I don't care! Im not being put into some Kuroshitty slumber party where I'm prolly gonna get gang banged and wake up in BANKOK!

Me: DON'T CARE! *Presses magical author button*

Ceil: OH YES OF COURSE I WOULD BE MOST HONORED TO ATTEND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL CELEBRATION OF SLEEPING.

Sebastian: Woah, c-can you make him admit.. He is a bratty fucktard that secretly wants it in the ass from me?

Ceil: _WHAATT?_

Me: Another story Sebastian, haha *looks at you* ... Another Story..

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Sebastian: DAew

Ciel: Sebastian Just.. Just shut up.

Sebastian: Okay fine. But you look aDORKable in My little ponie PJ's..

Ceil: JUST TAKE ME TO THE DAMN TRANSSEXUAL'S!

Drocelle: * Answers door* Hai.

Ciel: Hey...

Alois: YAY CIEL CAME YAAY! *drags him in* I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME COS I INVITED ALL YOUR BEST FRIENDS AND ALSO GRELL AND FINNIAN AND-

Ceil: May I make it clear I don't want to be here?

Alois: Just shut the frick up and stop being such a derp.

*Finnian runs in* Finnian: HEY ALOIS.

Alois: What?!

Finnian: I just wanted to say hi GOD. *Runs in circles crying*

Ciel: When did my life turn into a parody?

Alois DANCE PARTY?!

Ciel: Not quite. *Takes Finnian's arm and goes outside and watches Alois from the window*

Finnian: Why are we-

Ciel: NEVER MIND THAT. We need to Alois to fall asleep or die or something.

Finnian: But he gave me candy, if you want to leave you can just-

Ciel: He'll just track me down.. he's a menace.

*Sees Alois singing: Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of fur, sleepy kitty, happy Kitty purr purr purr!*

Ceil: In booty shorts.

Finnian: I can distract em'! *He takes off his shirt and presses himself agianst the window, causing Drocelle and Bard to stare*

Finnian: ALOIS HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY.

Alois: *Looks*

Finnian: HEY.

Alois: *Shakes head* That's not how you do it.

Ciel: Yeah, seriously Finnian that's just pathetic. You have to do it like this. *Takes off shirt and start grinding window*

Alois: *Nosebleed*

Bard: *Takes picture with iPhone*

Drocelle: Why isn't this a yaoi...?

Grell: Because Elizabeth isn't yuri..

Claude: I made cookies :D... The fuq?

Drocelle: Lol I dunno. *shrugs*

Alois: I'm gonna sex you up Claude.

Claude: *Sighs* Just eat the damn cookies.

Alois: Are they shaped like penises?

Claude: Yes?

Alois: Are they shaped like your penises? *winks*

Claude: I'm afraid there wouldn't be enough dough my highness.

Drocelle: *Spits out tea*

Alois: :O *Eats cookie*

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**sorry i havwent updated in a whil... review pleaseeee**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey wierdos haha jk so im**

**SOrry i havent updated jn..**

**FOREVER.**

**I have been having to use my school computer...**

**BUT this will be awesome and worth the wait, once again i apologize for making you wait**

**Kittenxx**

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HIGHSCHOOL KUROSHiTSUJI STYLE

Alois pressed his back agiamst the locker, feeling highly vunreable in his short school girl skirt, _Like seriously, why does every cliche anime highschool girl have to dress like a slut but remained totally innocent untill finding out that the anime turns out to be a hentai? Even though you slighlty expected the reacher was gonna rape her due to her unrealisticlly huge tits._

"H-Hey Ciel!" Alois said seeing the most popular bocchan walk down the hallway.

Ceil looked over at him before flipping his hair and saying, "I dont like your shoujo parts."

That hurt.

She walked away leaving Alois to stare at her underwear which her skirt was

tucked into becayse shes retarded like that.

"You know we'll never be cool enough to talk to the popular squad cheerleader jocks sluts whores... and ... you know whatever else is cliche enough." Said Rondald

Alois shrugged, yeah... we could be the emos.

He pointed to Drocelle, Grell, and William all huddled up into a corner.

"I wish I was a real boy.." Drocelle moaned.

"I wish I was prom queen." Will complained.

"I wish I was Beyonce." Grell Added.

... " Hey look its lunch time, lets get a tray and not eat anything off of it."

* * *

"Oh Mr. Michealis, your sooo Funny."

Ceil said messing with the bottom of his skirt, staring up at the teacher with red eyes.

"Im also very attractive and pedophilic."

"I dig that."

"Hey , you left your dildo in my car." Grell said handing him a magnum.

"Oh, right." took it and gave it to Ciel. "Thanks for letting my borrow this."

Alois watched scrunching his nose.

"Do you think he hooks up with the students, rapes them after a date, and then pretends it didnt happen by giving them an A?"

"Probably.." Ronald said adjusting his galsses and getting called a nerd and had an apple thrown at his head.

"I also herd he had a threesome with the triplets."

" Really? Wouldnt it be a foursome?"

"hahahaahah, stfu."

"HEY HEY HEY."

The undertaker sat down next to them, smilimg.

"Hey girl.."

"WHy you no happy?"

"I just hate highschool its sooooo dramatic and everything is a big deal."

"Want to know whats a big deal?"

"What?"

"Vampires."

"Are there any vampires at this school?"

"No, but I am growing most suspicous of the guy that cant keep his shirt on.."

Points to Claude.

"Dont talk about my brother liek taht.." Alois said.

"Im sorry... are you a gay."

"Yeah."

"GASP."

Oh yeah by the way why isnt this anime a yaoi? Like its as if they want us to suffer, okay and its not fair! The closest thing that we have to yaoi on this anime is Grell, but in my opinion hes just an overly attatched fangirl that gets confused about his gender and loves shatter nail polish.

And okay even if thet werent gonna make this a Yaoi, why make a little boy pushed agianst the wall.

YELLING

Sebastians name, sweating.

and it turns out to be a NON Yaoi scene? Like how many fangirls almost went to the hospital because of extreme blood loss?

LIKE SERIOUSLY?

they set up two gorgeous men and make sure that it stays at a minumum bit of yaoi

Like not enough to be classified as a Yaoi but enough to make it suggestively a yaoi...

And like that one pediphile, uh blonde guy.. likes LAdy P?

yeah HIM! he looks like he could be Grell and Ronalds gay baby.

YOU know what?

Undertaker + Madame Red = Grell

Alois + Grell= Ronald

Willam + Sebastian = Claude

LIke...

TOTALLY

COINCIDENCE!

...

I hope yu enjoyed this derpy chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Me: Hello loveys, Hey i just want to thank you for all the support you guys have been giving me on this Parody, it means a lot, and i have been working on this for a while now, and I want to giv**

**e you this special little parody!**

**Ceil: Heh, yeah guys, seriously! You guys love her so much you even broke the 5O reviews goal she had set for her last chapter, and to be honest.. *leans to you and whispers* it sucked Claude Balls.**

**Me: :O Hey! Dont make me do a Ceil**

**xGrell pairing!**

**Ceil:... You wouldn't.**

**Me: *Smirks evilly* Oh, but I ****_would. _*****Waved author button tauntingly infront of him smirking.***

**Ceil: Well Im sorry! But you didn't even try on that chapter, your readers are commited. that or high or easily amused.**

**Me: *cringes* Yeah, I have been getting a little lazy with my parody's lately, well.. No more of that! I just had school and stuff and yeah.. But anyways.. I hope you love this long overdue parody, because I love you! *Points to you* **

* * *

Sebastian: *Tucks Ceil in bed* Goodnight my lord.

Ceil: NO wait! Tell me a story before you go to bed... pwease?

Sebastian: Oh fuck, Ceil I am so goddamn tired, you kept me up all night yesterday because you wanted a fucking pillow, and today you made me carry you on your back all through town for six hours and my back hurts, I have a few fangirls waiting to give me a back rub and I just... Im tired.

Ceil: DO IT OR ill rape you in your sleep.

Sebastian: You can't rape the willing.

Ceil: Slut.

Sebastian: Cunt.

Ceil: Cockbreath

Sebastian: Cum Guzzler

Ceil: Hobknocker.

Sebastian: Twat sucker.

Ceil: Clit-clatter.

Sebastian: Bra stuffer.

Ceil: Math Debater.

Sebastian: Tiny McDick Chode.

Ceil: GutterSlutMcFuckup.

Sebastian: Faggot.

Ceil: Bitch.

Sebastian: Pussy.

Ceil: Pervert

Sebastian: Once upon a time there was a princess named Maranda.

Ceil: Ceil.

Sebastian: Ceil was the ugliest princess to ever live.

Ceil: Psh, fuck you then. Im sexy.

Sebastian: So ugly she killed the peasant Bard just by looking at him. One day her husband Elizabeth.

Ceil: Ooooh, I really hate you.

Sebastian: Left her for the fairest princess of all the land.

Ceil: What fucking land had two mother fuckin princesses?

Sebastian: MY LAND now shut the helll up and listen to one hell of a story.

Ceil: Okay...

Sebastian: The princess was Princess Alois-

Ceil: OH FUCK YOU MAN.

Sebastian: And she was far more sexy than Ceil. Because Prince Sebastian has a thing for blondes.

Ceil: WHAT?!

Sebastian: I fucked your cousin wife bitch up the ass. Anways he married Alois and lived hallpuly ever after.

Ceil: BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!

Sebastian: What about you? I want my back rubb... *whines*

Ceil: I WANT MY HAPPY ENDING!

Sebastian: *Pauses and looks at Ceil*

Ceil: ... W-What?

Sebastian: Nothing. Okay, nothing. But there was one thing that Ceil had, that no one else did. The most magical tinkle taco in all the land.

Ceil: Cool. :D

Sebastian: And she spreaded around her magic pussy to all the land, men and women untill it got really gross and she got blue waffle disease, and then eventually married a blind man named The Undertaker and they had sociopathic babies and when those babies grew up they killed there parents and ruled the world. THE END!

Ceil: But...

Sebastian: What now?

Ceil: I wanted a happy ending..

Sebastian: *pauses and looks at him* I could be your happy ending.. *Kisses him*

Ceil: *Blushes*

Sebastian: .. *Goes to door* Im gonna go get a back rub and fall asleep. See you in the morning young master.

*Sebastian Leaves and Ceil coveres himself up*

Ceil: *Mumbles* I coulda gave you more than a back massage...

* * *

**Hey you like it? Its a little diffrent than most of my parody's.. this one has got a cute love thingy in it. Oh my gosh, I just had the biggest fangirl moment, I herd the words "Black Veil Brides" and looks on TV to see my boy Andy on TV rockin his new haircut and NEW album! Super siked! I love these guys I screamed haha :P Bigger than the time i found out Deadman Wonderland was coming on toonai. well.. review please :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello all of my little monsters! How has everyone been? Im sorry I havent updated in FOREVERRR but you see, my father recenlty died. and he was my.. well.. I was very close to him. SO ive been a tad distracted and i apologize. But im back! With a new pen name.. ya see? Anyways review!**

* * *

Ciel: Hello everyone.. THis is a very..._SPECIAL_ parody. Today...the theme is... *spins wheel and it lands on Twilight*

Sebastian: By god..

Ciel: Fuucck... Okay... Twilight..Will this end well?

Me: *Shruggs* I dunno, my mind is pretty flippin waggle sacked.

Ceil: *Grabs me by my Batman shirt* PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME BELLA!

Me: Hmm... I wasn't concidering that until now...

Ceil: DAMN!

Sebastian: Haha you shower of cunts.

Me: And you can be Edward.

Sebastian: *eyes get wide* Eh.. buh buh.. I LIKE WASHING MY HAIR!

Me: *Holds up magic author button tauntingly*

Sebastian: You bi-

*BAMMMM*

Ceil looked outside of the window, his eyes full of sad angst anger emotion emo emo emotions.

"I DONT WANNA LIVE IN FORKS DADDY!"

"To bad."

"I HATE YOU FOR LIFE!"

He flipped his hair and sighed loudly. like. like SIIIGGHHHHHGHGHGHGHARGHGHSIGHGHGHGHGH...

like that.

And then they drove to a tiny house that looked like shit but that was okay because its not like house or family matterd. just school. not even school.

"Hello-

**Me: STOP!**

**Ciel: OH thank god..**

**Sebastian: pff you weren't any diffrent than now.**

**Me: who's idea was this?!**

***All of us turn to Lexis***

**Lexis: l-look! Im just an editor! Im not good at ideas.**

**Me: Well.. What else is there?**

**Lex: Well.. You already did the slumber party.. the next on you had put on the list is.. Camping.**

**Sebastian**: **Sounds promising... Right Dari?**

**Me: Yeah. I guess. I'll write it. **

**Sebastian: Why so glum?**

**Me: Writers block.**

**Sebastian: You pussy.**

**Me: Niggabitch.**

**Sebastian: IM FLAGGING YOU!**

**Me: Lol okay. *Magic Author BUtton***

Ceil sighed under the heavy weight of all of the camping supplies Alois had packed.

"An then were gonna go fishing, and were gonna swim, and skinny dip-"

"What?"

"Make a fire."

Ciel huffed and drug himself over to his butler, who was wearing cargo shorts and a tanktop.

"Yes?"

"Why did you make me fucking do this?"

"Because dumbass, you need other gay friends to accept yourself. And realize that homosexuals like you arent so diffrent."

He glaced over at Alois who was licking the tree. To feel nature.

"Im not g-"

"Mm-kay."

"IM NOT!"

"I believe you."

"Im serious."

"and I serously beLIEve you." He winked and walked to the car.

and yes.

they had a fucking car.

and also, I dont give a fuck about whats been invented or NOT invented at there time period.

its a fucking parody.

so don't get your fucking tits in a wad.

just a parody.

make believe.

Mkay?

No more of those type of comments. You HATERS.. and for the rest of yall that like me. I LOVE YOU GUIISSEE.. also.. I say yall alot. -

and tits.

and wad

and fucking

once the car started they drove for like 12 hours into woods, it was absolute torture sitting next to Alois who wanted back seat blowies and Claude who had to refrain him.

Sebastian didn't give a fuck. Once they pulled up.. Ciel got out, and -

**OH MY GOD GUYS HAVE YALL SEEN THE CEIL IN WONDERLAND? YOUD BE A TOTAL NOOB IF YOU DIDNT... Okay not a lot of people caught this. But you know how at the beginning when Sebastian grows a tail? CEIL WAS STARING AT HIS BUTT, thats the only way he could of noticed it. xD YAOI! **

**oh and you KNOW sebastian knew, otherwise the entire plan wouldn't of worked. **

**haha.. okay sorry..**

**Just thought id put that out there... anyways**

****Ciel got out of the car and sat his shit down next to Alois's shit.

"Where's the bathroom." Ceil asked flatly.

Alois spread his arms open, "THE WORLD IS YOUR BATHROOM!"

"No Seriously. Alois, where is the bathroom?"

"There's a tree over the-"

"SERIOUSLY ALOIS I GOTTA PISS NOWWW!"

"IM SERIOUS TOO YE BLOODY WANKA~!"

"I ONLY WANK ON TUESDAYS!"

"WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE STOP FLIRTING AND COME FUCKING HELP ME!"

"I Shoulda packed you tampons." Alois whispered to Ceil.

Ceil glared before assisting Sebastian on setting up the tent.

Once camp was finally set up, it was getting rather dark and Claude made a fire with his sexy stick friction.

"PICKLES ON A SUNDAY, NOT MONDAY. PICKLES ON A TUESDAY, NOT THURSDAY-"

"Holy shit," Ciel said rubbing his temples, "Alois that has to of been the worst campfire song I have ever herd.."

Alois folded his arms. "Psh. Ima fucking poet."

Claude leaned over and whispered to Ciel. "You should hear his bathtime song.."

Alois sighed heavily and said, "Camping is boring."

"Then why did you plan this?"

"Honestly?" Alois said, looking around. "I just wanted to drug your Sunny D and have very brutal unlubed sex with your unconcious body-"

"Ahh!" Ceil covered his ears, "Holy fuck! That's gotta fucking turn that T rating into a M!"

"Im Mature," Alois winked.

"Actually, that was so immature and uncontrolled, it was to immature for mature people which makes it mature."

"I don't like that word anymore." Alois confessed, then he sighed. "Well maybe we ca-"

"Did you hear that?"

"Shut Up Ceil im jumpy, you know-"

"Listen!"

Ceil crept over to the car and shook it, and Grell jumped out. "EARTH QUAKE!"

Sebastian rubbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Grell, what are you doing here?"

"I - I.. Im never in your parody's anymore!"

Darian the author cuts in, "What? Grell, your one of the main subjects in my-"

"I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!"

"Aww, well now I feel bad.." I said, looking down and then earasing a bunch of the script.

"What... are you doing?" Sebastian asked.

"Im making you his boyfriend for the rest of this parody."

Grell smiled.

"What?"

"I know, the readers love Grell and Sebby."

"Noo!"

Grell sat next to Sebastian and the fire was slowly going out.

"You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"We should.. Get.. High." Alois said, holding out a bag of weed.

"Good, if im with him I can at least be high while doing so."

"Aww yeah." Ciel said.

30 minutes later.

"Sometimes, I wish I wasn't engaged to Elizabeth." Ciel said, leaning on Alois, who was petting his hair.

"I know baby."

"I mean, I could be with you." Ciel went on.

"Yeah, and I have bigger boobs than Elizabeth..you-you know?" Alois questioned.  
"Can I feel?"

He put his hand over Alois's chest.  
"there really firm.."

Grell was laying in Sebastians lap.  
"You remind me ofa..kitty."

"EVERYTHING IS SO SOFT AND HALARIOUS!" Sebastian said laughing uncontrollably.

Ceil stood up, "Hey-Hey guise.. guess who I am? BLACK PEPPAAAA!"

He fell over and Alois laughed.

"That terrorist guy."

"That's racist." Ciel said.

"I know, I have a problem."

Sebastian pointed at Ceil, "YOU KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS? YOU!"

Ciel lunged at Sebastian and they started pulling eachothers hair, Grell tried to break it up but ended up underneath them, and Alois assumed it was a dog pile.

Claude appeared with a bag of tacos.

"Hey guys im back with the.. what the fuck?"

* * *

**Im sorry if it doesn't make sense. or is just stupid. I stayed up all night writing this.. and now. I gotta get ready for school, can I come home to some amazing reviews? also my next chapter IM DOING SHOUTOUTS!**

**and hey.. PM me and i'll put you in my parody. but you have to be creative. im only doing 2 people. Review my monsters c:**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys.. Look..**

**I don't know how to tell you this but...**

**Im sorry to all of my readers.. and fans.**

**But im quitting because Black Bulter sucks and so does anime**

**SAYS NO ONE EVER**

**Lets try this agian shall we?**

**HELLO everyone! Did You miss me? I fucking missed you, so much. I dream about you.. where you're lying in my arms singing spanish lullabuys and wearing a pink body suit.**

**That's how much I missed you. I think, I think our relationship has evolved, what do you think Ceil?**

**Ceil: Is to busy filing nails***

**Me: But that's not the only thing that's evolved! A new adition to my Parody Party, please give a warm.. Reviewing welcome to my newest crackshit!**

DAY 1

Claude: So are you sure you two are okay together?

Ceil: Yeah no, I mean yeah we've really grown closer, I mean he still wants to rape me- and I still want to drown him. But we be best fray frays.

Sebastian: Ceil, we decided to leave you in charge, because well .. You're less of a blonde bratty whore bitch.

Ceil: Yeah whatever, go bone go get high go jump off a bridge wake up in america and knock some hobs.

Claude: YOLO

Sebastian: Quite.

Claude: We'll be back in a week, are you SURE you're okay together?

Ceil: No seriously claude, you better just shut the fuck up before I cut off you're nipples and wear them as earings.

Claude: **-**Puts hand over chest-

Sebastian: Farwell homeslice!

-Closes Door-

Alois: SO, -appears out of the doorway wearing a robe-

Ceil: Finished with you're bath I presume?

Alois: They're gone.. and me and you.. are.. _alone_.

Ceil: Yep and im gonna go sit in the living room and watch T.V.

Alois: **-**Robe Drops- WHA HOWA BOU NOW?

Ceil: Aww teeny! Just like Finnian's.

Alois:Fuck you.

Ceil: Obviously. -Sits infront of T.V and watches Rob & Big-

God I would FUCK him though.

Alois: Really? You're into skaters?

Ceil: No No. Christopher Big Black. Yeah. I'd top that.

Alois: Lolol.

Ceil: Don't judge me.

Alois: To late.

Ceil: Hater

Alois: Gay faggot.

Ceil: I am as straight as the pole you're mom dances on.

Alois: DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOTHERS CURRENT OCCUPATION YOU BIATCH.

Ceil: Mm, Im scared.

Alois: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

Ceil: K.

Alois: -Walks over to him and starts poking him vicously-

Ceil: -Completely ignoring him-

Alois: FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FALANGIES MORTAL!

**-**pokes- TAKE THAT -pokes- AND THAT! -pokes- and HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF THIS! -pokes-

Ceil: I've tooken better pokings. -smirks-

Alois: Sexual pun?

Ceil: Indeed.

Alois: That's funny. BUT I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!

-whacks him with a pillow and he falls off couch-

Ceil: What the fuck Alois! -Get's up- I'll fucking KILL YOU!

Alois: YOU DO LOVE ME!

Ceil: -Chases him around with a knife-

DAY 2

Alois: -Sings- IF I WERE A BANANA I WOULD NEVER BE GREEN. ID COME OUT A RAINBOW AND BE CALLED BANANABOW!

Ceil: I am so sick of you're singing! You're not even good!

Alois: IM FUCKING BEYONCE!

-doorbell rings-

Alois: **-**Hides behind a desk-

Ceil: -glances at him for a second and then goes back to the door and gets the pizza-

Alois: What is this?

Ceil: Murica ina box.

Alois: But it smells jew.

Ceil: That's what she said.

Alois: That didn't make any fucking sense.

Ceil: -takes a bite out of the pizza- Didn't have to, Im sexy.

Alois: I want to say senseless things and still be admired.

Ceil: You say sensless things all the time and you have fans.

Alois: Was that... a .. compliment?

Ceil: N-No I said you said _sensless_ as in FUCKINGSTUPIDASFUCK things.

Alois: Ceil do you have a secret crush on me?

Ceil: No. Im straight.

Alois: That's what she said...

Ceil:...

Alois: It doesn't work for me.

Ceil: Not, not really.

Alois: Im taking some jew food to my room and think about my life.

Ceil: Wouldn't be a lot to think about.

Day 3

Alois: Ceil, CEIL CEIL!

Ceil: fuucccckkk yoiuuuu.. -rolls over-

Alois: CEIL IT'S CHRISTMAS!

Ceil: -Pop's up- CHRISTMAS!?

Alois: No fucktart its June, look can you do a favor for me?

Ceil: Alois it's fucking three in the morning.

Alois: I know but it's an emergency.

Ceil: -Glares-

Alois: -Glares back harder-

Ceil: Fuckiing FINE. -Gets up and follow's Alois into his room-

Ceil: What's the emergency?

Alois: THAT! -point's to the tinest spider ever-

Ceil: Are you_ fucking _serious?

Alois: Yes please kill it please! I barely escaped with my life.

Ceil: -walks over to the spider and stomps out his anger-

It's dead.

Alois: Are you sure.

Ceil: YES.

Alois: Mkay and wait! -Leaps into bed and crawls under the blankets-

Ceil: What?

Alois: Check for monsters?

Ceil: Are_ you_ fucking urghh! -Pulls at hair_- _

Alois: Please I don't want to get eaten and I know you won't sleep in here with me.

Ceil: -mumbles- no one would eat you you'd taste like pussy

Alois: What was that?

Ceil: Closet is monster free, can I go back to bed now?

Alois: Yeah, goodnight Ceil.

Ceil: Whatever. -slams door-

DAY 4

Alois: Ceil were all out of milk!

Ceil: LET ME WAKE UP BEFORE YOU START BITCHING...

Alois: -rolls eyes- Go get me some fucking milk so I can have a proper breakfast!

Ceil: Ah suck me. -looks in the cabinets-

Fine we'll go shopping.

Alois: I'LL GRAB ME TROUSERS!

-Walmart-

Ceil: Alois go get us a cart.

Alois: -comes back with one of them car baskets for kids-

Ceil: Alois.

Alois: -giggles and jumps into the car- LETS GO!

Ceil: Alois you're way to old to be using cars.

Alois: And you're way to younge to be a _BRONY._

Ceil: -starts pushing the cart around-

Alois: _VROOM VROOMM!_

Ceil: Stop

Alois: Don't be such an airbag.

Ceil: -Grabs milk- Let's make this breif.

Alois: -Sees in another car basket Drocelle- My arch nemeny.

Drocelle: Nice wheels, what are they plastic?

Alois: Psh, whatever at least I don't have my grandma pushing me around.

Drocelle:Dude that's the undertaker.. And At least I don't have some ugly faggot.

Alois: Fucking take that back.

Drocelle: Why did I offend you're_ girlfriend_?

Alois: -Shoves his car over and it knocks down the mortician and a inconvienently stacked tower of cactus's.

Alois: Ceil do you have everything?

Ceil: Hm? Oh Yeah, sorry I was distracted by this dog toy. They're so attention grabbing I tell you.

Day 5

Alois: WHO LIVES IN A PINAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

Ceil: Ergh.

Alois: AND BLOBITY BLOBITY FLOPS LIKE A FISH?

Ceil: -throw's a Nokia at the TV and it shatters-

Alois: But But I was ready D:

-Doorbell rings-

Alois: Dives behind the couch-

Ceil: What? Were you raped by a door bell the fuck Alois?

Alois: It might be a terrorist.

Ceil: Only polite terrorist ring the door bell before killing us all.

-opens door and see's Grell-

Ceil: Oh fuck it's this chickenshit.

Grell: I- Am- Having WITHDRAWLS CEIL WITHDRAWLS!

-comes in and sit's on the chair-

Ceil: I don't fucking care Grell, but it seems like you're suffering so spare me the details.

Grell: SEBASTIAN! He's gone! I live in his closet and sleep in his bathtub and he hasn't been in any and and IM FREAKING OUT!

Ceil: Gross, Grell he's not gay.

Grell: YET! This anime has proven to be a possibility!

Ceil: Grell, is that why you're here? To rant to us the Bocchans?

Grell: NO! Well partically, Will won't listen.. But I want to know where he is!

Ceil: In Canada.

Grell: CANADA I SHALL GO!

-runs out the door-

Ceil: I fucking hate that tran.

Alois: She seems nice.

Day 6

Ceil: Alois.. Alois hey.

Alois: Samantha?

Ceil: No—Who the fuck in Samantha?

Alois: Ceil what do you want?

Ceil: I just wanted to tell you something.

Alois: Are we gonna bone?

Ceil: IM STRAIGHT

Alois: AS A CIRCLE, I know. Now what is it?

Ceil: Since Sebastian and Claude are coming back tomarrow I just want to say, the things that have happened between us, have to an I mean have to stay secret, okay?

Alois: Yeah okay whatever.

Ceil: No I'm serious, if Sebastian ever found out we were friends, he would kill me. Over possesive.

Alois: We're friends?

Ceil: Fucking duh you dumbass.

Alois: But you're such a bitch to me.

Ceil: That's just how I show affection.

Alois: You're in love with Grell?

Ceil: No I wan't to fucking _kill_ that drag queen.

Alois: Heh, okay so... Goodnight.

Ceil: I have a question.

Alois: What?

Ceil: You are the queen of spiders, why did you make me kill that one?

Alois: Cos it was a frenemy of mine-

Ceil: Seriously.

Alois: .. -Sit's up- it's nothing, whatever you know? I just wanted to be tucked in im use to it.

Ceil: -kisses his forehead-

Alois: o-o

Ciel: Good night my highness.

Alois: G-g-g-g-gg-g-gg-g-..

-door closes-

Alois:... -goes in the bathroom and tries to stop nose bleed-

Review!


	14. Chapter 14

**two parodies today! tHIS ONE WRITTEN BY MY FRIEND AND I**

* * *

Ceil: BITCH!

Sebastian:.. Yes my Pimp?

Ceil: WHY IS _HE _here!?

*Sebastian looks over at Grell who's smiling brightly*

Grell: HAI SEABAS-CHANNN!

Sebastian: I have no clue... I'll get rid of him if you want.

Ceil: _NO I WANT YOU TO GET SOME VASOLINE AND BEND HIM OVER-YES I WANT YOU TO GET RID OF HIM!_

Grell: D'Awwwwwwww... I likes the first suggestion... *Sad pouty face*

Sebastian: Alright don't get your panties in a wad... *Grabs Grell when suddenly Mayrin bursts through the door*

Ceil: Oh god...

Mayren: Young Pimp! BARD JUST SET THE SOFA ON FIRE! AND THEN HE TOOK FINNIAN AND LOCKED HIM IN THE BATH-

Ceil: Shut up Meg.

Sebastian: Uhm... Grell stop humping my leg.. You remind me of Pluto in heat.

Ceil: Just get rid of the red headed drag queen..

Sebastian: Yes my pimp.. *Drags Grell out the door and Mayren and Ciel are alone*

Ceil:.. He's... He's raping Finnian isn't he?

*Mayren nodds quickly* Mayren: Yes that would be most likely.

Sebastian: Im... Back.. And don't worry. Im still attractive.

Ceil: Good. That's very reasurring.

*Finnian runs up stares* Finnian: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!?

Everyone: HUh?

Finnian: You let him rApE me!

Sebastian: He did?! *Bard walks in with a proud look on his face*

Bard: Pay up biatch. *Holds out hand to Sebastian*

Sebastian:... Ugh.. *Hands him 44 bucks*

Finnian:... W...T...F?

Ceil: *Facepalm* Sebastian.. I don't mean to alarm you but it appears Grell has stolen your trousers.

Bard: HEHEHEHEHE... _TROUSERS..._

Sebastian:*Looks down*... Hm... *Shruggs* Were all in a mind fuck anyways.

Ceil: *Blushes* Damn... Nice calfs.

Ceil: *Butts in* Hey readers, I really really want to do something, I will be awnsering all questions you Review PM or FP me! So ask tons.

Me: Dude.. Thats not gonna work no one loves you,

Ceil: My mommy loves me...

Me: Yeah well she's dead.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey what's up all my readers, **

**Im sorry I haven't updated in a bit, i've been going through some personal stuff,**

**I know its the summer and I should have plenty of time but meh,**

**Gender Dysphoria, what can you do?**

**And I am a transgender, and FTM..**

**So I promise to upload soon, it's just been, a low priority, and I apologize.**

**anyways, thanks for reading. c:**

**(ON HOLD)**


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